The Beginning Of The End

My last rotation of internship is in full swing.
Surgery has turned out to be an anti-climax of sorts.I was waiting so eagerly for this posting,relishing the thought of literally wielding my scalpel and I get posted in Burns-Trauma.It's now turned out to be the most taxing posting-physically,mentally and emotionally.
Now the physical part is probably my fault(as it was in Paediatrics) because I tend to linger around for after all,it is still Surgery.The mental and emotional fallout,however,caught me totally off guard.
I thought I had grown up...that internship had seasoned me well and truly till I had to deal with two cases of 100% burns.It made me question my profession as a whole,prolonging pain in a patient who's most probably not going to make it.On one hand: I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect as per the Hippocratic Oath(One cheap crack about the pronounciation and I WILL hunt you down my scalpel) and on the other hand,is it really worth it?Even if the patient does manage to make it,the pain which she'll go through(on every plane) doesn't really seem to make that particular medical miracle worth it.
As for the little kids with burns,that's the most heart rending.I thought that there was nothing worse than little children with AIDS which they've contracted from irresponsible parents but seeing them in so much of pain every time we rebandage them makes me wince internally.
On the whole,however,I have to say that internship has changed my life,it's made me a better person,more mature,more aware,a lot less protected and insulated from the harsh realities of this world especially as regards pain and suffering.All those mind games we played in college,all the gossip,all the politics and tiny acts of nastiness seem so petty now.And yea,my tolerance for people who let out hot air has taken a nosedive...I guess I get a teeny bit impatient.But when one sees the not so bright side of life,a whole lot of yackety yack does get on one's nerves.
An internship in a government hospital...not everyone's cup of tea but for me it's been an oasis of sorts.Long hours balanced by tremendous job satisfaction,a treasure trove of knowledge and experience gained,an appreciation for what I have(so it sounds corny,sue me!) and a few really great friends.

Mom,your little girl's finally grown up.
(Yea,yea...I know,it's about time but better late than never)

Doctor Witch